I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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