Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
