That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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