i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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