He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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