Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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