I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
