i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
