We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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