my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
