he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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