What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
my liver is dry heaving
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
