I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
