Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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