How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
