Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
