Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
