Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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