I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
