And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
