I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
