I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
