There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
