at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish I could teleport
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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