if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
