Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
