I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
