I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
