I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
vagina is talking i cant
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
