Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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