A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize