He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize