let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
