i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
