porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize