Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
