I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
