I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
