I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
