I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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