we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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