remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They took my balls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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