i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
