How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My pussy is not your playground.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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