She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize