Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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