I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
