im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
