just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
