so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i think i have herpe
just one?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
