Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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