I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
