Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
