if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
