his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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