The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
