PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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