I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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