he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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