I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
